I had decided that – after reviewing Boy Meets Girl – I wanted to explore one aspect of it a bit deeper in a separate blog post. It’s now been over two weeks since I finished reading it, but I feel like it’s been so much longer. Admittedly, I feel quite removed from the contemplations it prompted. Life moves on and new contemplations take the place of old ones. The lesson: write these thoughts out right away, next time!
In any case, this is a good chance to go back and revisit the things I was thinking about at the time.
NOTE: for readers who are particularly sensitive to sexual matters… I attempt to talk about these things in a graceful way, but please be forewarned that this post mentions sex.
Are you familiar with 1 Corinthians 7? I would summarize that it’s a confusing chapter about marriage and singleness in which Paul writes to the Corinthian Church with some personal opinion and some non-debatable commands from the Lord.
It says such things as:
But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in life, and I want to spare you this.
-1 Corinthians 7:28
So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.
-1 Corinthians 7:38
As always, I recommend you read the whole chapter for much-needed context. Read it online here if you’d like.
Whenever I read this chapter in the past, I would get that Paul was putting forward a case for singleness. I could probably repeat some of his arguments myself. But I wasn’t convinced.
Isn’t it interesting how God used a book about courtship to get me to understand – to elevate singleness in my eyes? (And it wasn’t by means of putting down courtship or marriage.)
In chapter 9, author Joshua Harris talked about “small” romantic expressions – the types of things Christians debate over. For example, some say it’s no big deal to kiss before marriage or to snuggle in certain ways. Others beg to differ.
I think Mr. Harris put it well: “The longer your ‘no big deal’ list is before marriage, the shorter your ‘very special’ list will be after marriage.” Earlier in the chapter, under a heading entitled, “Why Your Sex Drive Is a Blessing,” he said:
And not only did God make sex good, but He also increased our enjoyment by reserving it for marriage. If we didn’t have to wait for it, there’d be no anticipation, no buildup, no excitement.
-Joshua Harris, Boy Meets Girl
I would add, that it would be commonplace, which is what it has become for some people who have chosen not to abide by God’s law.
This is where my thoughts took over
For some people, the fulfillment of the God-given desire for sexual intimacy comes when – having kept themselves pure their whole previous life – they get married.
For others, the fulfillment comes when – after having kept themselves pure their whole life – they meet Jesus face-to-face in His glorified body.
I don’t mean to suggest that such meeting will be sexual in any way at all. No! What I mean is that all the desires of the faithful single will be stilled when they see the glorious, resurrected Christ and everything is put into perspective. No longer will there remain any outstanding desire for sexual intimacy in the single, nor will they complain that they missed out. There will be utter satisfaction.
Marriage, beautiful though it is, cannot compare with meeting Jesus face to face.
And that’s how God used a book about courtship to raise my estimation of singleness. (Hop over here to read my review of Boy Meets Girl, by Joshua Harris)
Talk with me
- Marriage or singleness?
- Has God granted you to think of singleness as a gift?
- What do you think of 1 Corinthians 7? Are there other passages that have confused you?
- Also, I’m curious: do you follow my logic or does it not make sense? Sometimes I wonder…