Review: Boy Meets Girl

Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship

Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The blurb

Are you ready for “romance with purpose”? 

If you’re fed up with self-centered relationships that end in disillusionment, it’s time to rethink romance. Finding the loving, committed relationship you want shouldn’t mean throwing away your hopes, your integrity, or your heart.

In Boy Meets Girl, Joshua Harris —the guy who kissed dating goodbye—makes the case for courtship. As old-fashioned as it might sound, courtship is what modern day relationships desperately need. Think of it as romance chaperoned by wisdom, cared for by community, and directed by God’s Word.

Filled with inspiring stories from men and women who have rediscovered courtship, Boy Meets Girl is honest, romantic, and refreshingly biblical. Keep God at the center of your relationship as you discover how to:

• Set a clear course for your romance
• Get closer without compromise
• Find support in a caring community
• Deal with past sexual sin
• Make the right decisions about your future

New! Courtship Conversations 

Eight ideas for great dates that will help grow and guide your relationship.

My Review

Reviewing a book is a daunting task when you look back on the journey and feel like it was so full! What I’m about to say is not at all comprehensive. Nevertheless –

4/5 stars for Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris. According to the Goodreads star system, that means “I really liked it.” It’s a self-help book about courtship that – in its own words – is to “celebrate God’s way in romance.” Lest that description give you the idea that it’s nothing but pages of praise for courtship, I would add that it contains theology points as well as suggestions for practical approaches to romance within courtship.

I thought that Boy Meets Girl was compelling enough. I mean, I tend to be drawn in far more readily by fiction than non-fiction. But as far as its kind goes, it was quite good. Author Joshua Harris is a skilled storyteller and knows how to sprinkle them effectively between doses of doctrine. I found myself looking forward to the sweet, inspiring, and diverse testimonies of couples who chose to court. The theological parts were no burden to read, either. They were easy to understand and well-presented.

In the way of spiritual value, Boy Meets Girl seemed to me… it seemed… argh! I’m finding it very hard to compose a straightforward answer. On the one hand, it doesn’t leave the clear afterglow of contentment in Christ that other Christian theology/self-help books have left me with. But there were definitely times where it stopped me in my tracks and caused me to consider something in a new light. Chapter ten was great in that regard, and perhaps the most memorable chapter for me. But to jump back to the first hand, I felt like there were some times that the importance of marriage competed with the importance of the gospel. However, I did like this book and I’m going to give it the benefit of the doubt – 2/2 for spiritual value.

I want to note; in one negative review I read, the reader was upset about the author’s stance on courtship and romance, saying that it’s not reasonable or doable for everyone and that the book is a list of rules. On the first point, I would agree; the same approach to romance is not reasonable or doable for everyone. However, I don’t count this against the book because the author himself acknowledges this from the very beginning and encourages us to view the situation as we would an art class with one teacher and one assignment, yet in which each student is given different tools to complete the assignment. In the same way, Mr. Harris said that he was not saying we should follow the same guidelines that he did during his courtship, but that we need to develop our own convictions and guidelines from Scripture. I really appreciated that note of his.

In summary, I found Boy Meets Girl to be considerably compelling and to offer good value to my spiritual well-being. I would recommend it to readers who are both older (late teens +) and more mature (regardless of whether or not they’re currently courting) and who are interested in biblically exploring pre-marital romance.

A NOTE ON CONTENT

  • Violence: I recall no violence.
  • Romance: Given that the whole book is about romance, readers who are especially sensitive to such content should wary and sensible. Most of the approach to romance is from an objective point-of-view, but chapter nine did get steamy for me as it talked about lust and sex with honest detail.
  • Magic: There is no magic.
  • Language: I recall no harsh language.

Let’s Talk

Have you ever read Boy Meets Girl? Would you read it? What are your convictions surrounding romance? Marriage? Singleness?


Note:

I’ve also read and reviewed I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which is kind of the unofficial prequel to Boy Meets Girl.


 

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17 thoughts on “Review: Boy Meets Girl

  1. Thanks for this review, Jordy!
    “Have you ever read Boy Meets Girl?” ~ No.
    “Would you read it?”~ Not yet; mmaayybbee when I get older.
    “What are your convictions surrounding romance?”~ Courtship.
    “Marriage?”~ If it’s God’s will for me to marry, He will bring the right person into my life at the right time. If not… that brings me to the next question…
    “Singleness?”~ If it’s God’s will for me to be single, than I will do my best to “whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” and to serve Him. 🙂

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    1. There seem to be a lot of Christian “self-help” books about romance, marriage, and singleness, etc. these days (though if they’re biblical, I wouldn’t call them self-help because it’s the Holy Spirit who does the transforming, that’s just the name for the genre of book). I know you’re read Before You Meet Prince Charming. The title has an obvious reference to romance, with an emphasis on the “before.” I’m curious as to how much it talks about singleness vs marriage. Did it help shape your beliefs?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Good review… I’ve never read it and I might consider reading it in the future.. I’m not sure yet :). If it’s God’s will I would love to get married… but I’m content to remain single until God shows me my future husband.
    Thanks Jordy 🙂

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  3. Have you ever read Boy Meets Girl?:
    Nope!

    Would you read it?:
    Nah, I don’t think so. I don’t see a reason to as I don’t intend to court.

    What are your convictions surrounding romance?:
    Well, at the moment, I consider myself too young for romance, but … in the future, when I’m old and mature enough and when God is clearly saying, “It’s time,” I definitely do want to date. I don’t really believe in courtship, per se, mostly because I never heard of it until … I think about two years ago when I started getting on the internet with some Christian folks who court? Honestly, at first I thought they were joking! It just seemed bazaar to me! 😛 I was like, “You mean like … you sit in the parlor and talk about the weather until your parents arrange the match courtship?” 😉 I’ve learned a lot about it recently, though.

    Anyways, I believe that all romantic relationships should be focused towards marriage. There’s simply no point otherwise. Dating for fun … it just wouldn’t suit me, and I don’t think God would approve at all, either. I think He never meant for people to get involved in “casual” romantic relationships. And, of course, I want to stay clean and pure and all that. I think it would be a good idea to have a serious talk with him before we even went on a date to figure out if this could really go anywhere … and if not, why bother? (Maybe I’m focusing too much on sense and such, but I really don’t think you should go into something so important as marriage with nothing but a bunch of feelings! I love romances, but it’s just not going to work! 😛 )

    I think the main difference between what I’ve seen of courtship and (godly) dating would be that I’d probably be okay with being alone with him as long as it was in an appropriate setting (e.g. going to a movie or out to dinner or a walk, but not hanging out at his apartment or anything like that!), and … I feel like dating lets you take it just a little bit slower. Courtships seem to wrap it all up so fast, and I think I will need more time to get to know someone I want to marry … mostly because I don’t really believe in getting swept up in emotions and want to take time to really like him as a person and then fall in love with him (which is super idealistic, I know; I don’t know how any of this is going to work out in real life).

    And … honestly, I’ve had a lot of thoughts about courtship vs. dating but I can’t remember them right now! My mind is absolutely blank. Oh, well, I’ll probably think of them later when you respond. 🙂

    Marriage? Singleness?:
    Whatever God wants for me. (I’m really hoping it’s marriage, but if He doesn’t bring a godly, righteous man into my life who will suit me and such, I’m going to have to cope. 😉 ) I don’t think either is wrong … what matters is what God calls you to do.

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    1. Can I just say, I loved reading this comment. 😀 You just made me smile. In my opinion, there really doesn’t seem to be all that much difference between the type of dating you talking about and courtship as I understand it. Maybe some details(?) but mostly the name? I think they’re pretty fluid terms that are open to interpretation, but the way I would summarize courtship as I understand it is romance with purpose (ie. not for fun or for the sake of it, but with the intent to discover whether this is the person God wants you to marry)… which is pretty much how you were talking about your ideal for dating.

      Maybe another difference is that dating doesn’t have the pressure of high expectations because it has a more loose, modern ring, while courtship sounds uptight? Though in the end, it’s not the names we use, but what we do. I don’t know, what do you think?

      Well, God created marriage but He also designed you so that your biggest need should be Him… so I guess it really could go either way. Let’s see. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aw, thanks, Jordy!

        Yes, I don’t see much of a difference. I think the name doesn’t really matter. Another thing I didn’t mention is that I would feel awful breaking off a courtship. I mean, by the time most of the people I knew had entered a courtship, they were seriously committed … and I’m not sure I’d want to be seriously committed (well, you know, the aim would always be marriage and we’d be focusing on that, but …) until I knew the fellow really, REALLY well and understood all his beliefs, his relationship with God, and everything that I think would be difficult to learn if you weren’t seriously pursuing marriage.

        But then there’s also the danger of not being committed enough … so I don’t know.

        Like you said, the name doesn’t really matter so much as how you do it. The only reason I prefer dating is probably the stigmas attached it and because I was raised with dating as the only way (which is weird because my mother told me recently that my brother-in-law did ask my dad formally to court his daughter? So …? What happened to that, I wonder; they just seemed to date to me.)

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      2. What happened with your sister and brother-in-law indeed? Lol. I wonder if he or she read any “self-help” books about courtship and got “converted.” (I can laugh about it because courtship is my ideal at this point in time.)

        In any case, it seems that your choices are educated, and I hope that I can truthfully say as much about mine. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. More likely Josh just wanted to be “different”, but didn’t actually carry through with it. 😉

        Well, I don’t know what your choices are for choosing courtship, but I’m sure they’re well-thought-out. 🙂

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      4. It’s hard to make choices in advance when I believe that the man should be the initiator… How I respond would depend on his advances. I do have my hopes, though, such as that he would approach my parents before he approached me because it would show from the beginning that he respects them. Or maybe I’ll never get married…

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Personally, I want a man to approach me before my parents and then give me time to think about it. My sisters have had cases with guys they didn’t like asking our dad for permission to court them. 😉 But then, I’m ridiculously independent, and I don’t like to have my parents involved directly in my life so much as watching and advising (e.g. I’d rather they tell me how to do something than step in and help) … which probably doesn’t apply to this situation, but it’s how I feel? I don’t know; it’s such a long way off that I feel like I have some time still to figure out where I stand on the subject and where my parents stand and all that. Or it may just never happen!

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      6. Well, yeah… I guess that would have been awkward for your sisters. Did they then feel like they *had* to court the man because he had gotten permission from your dad? Would you feel like you had to in their situation? All these things are theoretical, anyway, since they haven’t happened yet. But to an extent, I think it can be helpful to think ahead a little.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Well, I think they mostly just felt bad, especially since they were close friends and they didn’t want it to be awkward or to break off the friendship. 🙂 Personally, it would depend on who the man was. I’m not really sure. :/

        Liked by 1 person

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