Seeking Revival

A new post in my vulnerability series is due. And yet, I came to today and knew I couldn’t write it.

I’ve had a rough time recently. First I came to the realization that I can’t live up to everyone’s expectations or meet every need I see. The most succinct way I can think to put it is that I reached then end of myself.

When I came to that conclusion, I thought, “It’s okay, I’ll just go to God for strength. He promises to give strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak.”

But by this point, my spiritual life felt like a wilderness. I would wake up to spend time with Him in the morning – no earlier than usual – and yet I would desire nothing but to doze back off and sleep another hour or three. I would come to passages that have breathed life into me over and over, and only see letters. I would try to feel them, but I couldn’t.

0110-seeking-revival

First I failed in the physical realm, now I’m failing in the spiritual.

So I came to today and knew I couldn’t write a post about biblical vulnerability – not when I can’t feel the weight of its glorious part in God’s design.

First I need a revival in my own life. Then perhaps, by God’s grace, I might possibly be able to write something that might encourage others and honor Him.

This morning I looked up “revival” in the concordance of my Bible:

You, Lord, showed favor to your land;
you restored the fortunes of Jacob.
You forgave the iniquity of your people
and covered all their sins.
You set aside all your wrath
and turned from your fierce anger.
Restore us again, God our Savior,
and put away your displeasure toward us.
Will you be angry with us forever?
Will you prolong your anger through all generations?
Will you not revive us again,
that your people may rejoice in you?
Show us your unfailing love, Lord,
and grant us your salvation.
I will listen to what God the Lord says;
he promises peace to his people, his faithful servants—
but let them not turn to folly.
Surely his salvation is near those who fear him,
that his glory may dwell in our land.
Love and faithfulness meet together;
righteousness and peace kiss each other.
Faithfulness springs forth from the earth,
and righteousness looks down from heaven.
The Lord will indeed give what is good,
and our land will yield its harvest.
Righteousness goes before him
and prepares the way for his steps.

-Psalm 85

This is a strange place to end. I just don’t feel like I can go any further. I’ll let God speak truth into my own life (as I believe He’s begun to do today) before I pretend I have any special insights to offer.

Until then…

Can you remember a time when – as a born-again believer – you felt separated from God and callous toward the glory of the gospel? Please encourage me with how God showed His faithfulness yet again and pulled you through.

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Seeking Revival

  1. Oh, what a lovely psalm. And yes, I definitely understand how you are feeling. I think the most important thing is to keep reading the word of God and to keep praying with Him. I’m not sure exactly where this quote originates, but, “If you don’t feel like praying, pray until you do.” But it is hard…sometimes I find myself just reading my scriptures because that’s what I’m supposed to do, not actually getting anything out of it.

    I don’t know what exactly is the best way to improve this situation aside from continuing to be faithful, but I do know that He loves you, his daughter, and He is there for you.

    7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

    8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

    (Matthew 7:7-8)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Lana! Those verses are precious.

      I like the quote, too. It reminds me of something I once heard a preacher say, that the more we consume the Word of God, the more our appetite for it grows. I guess now is a better time to test that than any!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You Jordy are a daughter of the King most high. What you feel like, or not feel like will never change that. Of cause, we seek those glorious times when we are close to our Father but even when we do not feel close to Him, He is near us. Lana is right! Keep praying, Satan wants you to stop. Keep doing from know it is the right thing today and you will be revived as you continue. When you are tired physically and your body is not well these physical issues also have an impact on or spiritual lives. It is also good to go to WAR in your prayers. Pray like you are in a battle. Fight for your relationship with God. It is very spiritual especially when you spend your life in a place that is not Godly and live in a country that is Buddhist. Do not feel discouraged either, that is also a lie from Satan. God is using you even in your vulnerability. You are honest about how you feel that is also helpful to others. Sometimes I have found that instead of reading the Bible I have had to meditate on the words. Just to stop reading on, and begin to soak it in. Too many words are sometimes not helpful. Just soak in a verse, memorize it and use it all day long. Take the pressure off yourself to feel something and just take the time to memorize and let the words mean something. That is what has helped me over this past difficult month. God will show you I am sure. I am also praying for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, mummy. It has taken a while for me to reply, but it was very touching to read your words. Your reminder to go to war in my prayers is always good for me to hear and hear again. I know it’s a biblical concept, but I forget it far more often than I remember it. Do you have particular Bible passages that you like to pray?

      Like

  3. Bonjour Jordy, encore un beau post.
    Ici au Québec nous avons des hivers. Durant l’hiver les arbres ne portent pas de fruits. Est-ce mauvais? Durant l’hiver la sève ne monte même pas dans les branches. Tout est sec et semble mort. C’est le temps idéal pour l’émondage. Les arbres n’en souffrent pas puisqu’il n’y a pas de sève dans les branches. Les pommiers pourront ai si donner de plus belles pommes et de plus savoureuses. Les érables pouront donner de l’eau d’érable au printemps et fournir ainsi une des plus belles richesses de notre province, le sirop d’érable. Si on coupe un pin l’été, le bois qu’on en tire se tordra et ne servira à rien. C’est pourquoi les bucherons travaillent l’hiver. Le bois du Québec est beau et droit, à cause de l’hiver. Je pourrais continuer ainsi les exemples. Que fait la nature durant l’hiver? Elle pousse des racines de plus en plus solides. Il faut aux arbres traverser 4 pieds de terre glaçée pour recevoir l’eau et les minéraux nécessaires à une vie qui ne soit pas de la survie. Nous avons tous des hivers dans nos vies spirituelles. Elles sont nécessaires. Ces déserts de glaces nous permettent de plonger nos racines encore plus profondément dans le Seigneur. Cherche un sujet qui t’intéresse et fouille la bible, les encyclopédies, les romans fantastiques, n’importe quoi qui t’aidera à mieux comprendre le sujet. Si tu as été intriguée par quelque chose dans le passé, c’est le moment de chercher tes réponses. Tu verras que ta foi va s’affermir ainsi que ta compréhension de l’oeuvre et du coeur de Dieu. Tu n’es pas dans un désert, mais dans un hiver spirituel. Tout est en dormance et tu ne vois pas où tu porte du fruit. Dieu ne le fait pas sans raison. reçois cela comme une bénédiction. Un litre de sirop d’érable coute cher au québec, mais il coûte dix fois plus cher au Japon, parce qu’ils n’ont pas d’érable. Dans un pays sans Christ, les chrétiens ont besoin de ce temps de repos afin de porter un meilleur fruit. Dieu lui-même a ordonné le sabbat de la terre afin de ne pas l’épuiser et de lui garder toute sa force. Profites-en pour plonger tes racines et recevoir l’émondage (pruning) de ton Seigneur.

    Like

    1. Et soudainement ton méssage m’est visible! L’as tu récrit?

      Quelle belle analogie! Ou en fait, ce sont plusieurs belles analogies. Je me souviens que tu avais déjà utilisé ce parallèle de l’émondage en hivers, mais cette fois tu l’as expliqué avec plus de détails. J’aime ta suggestion de chercher sur un sujet qui m’a intéressé dans le passé, et aussi ton rappel que Dieu a ordonné le sabbat de la terre. Il ne l’a pas ordonné pour rien; Il savait que les Israélites profiteraient plus dans la domaine de leur charactère en se ferant confiance en Lui et en abandonant leurs programmes, qu’en mettant leur espérance en leur propre force et sagesse agriculturelle. Merci André!!

      Like

  4. Oh Jordy! You’re definitely not alone in this experience. I wish I could give some fix-all solution, but I don’t think life is like that, especially spiritual life. Our hearts are a battleground between good and evil. That’s something I think God has been reminding me recently, during discouraging times. Every effort you make to draw closer to God, satan is going to try to counteract.

    Also, I couldn’t believe it when the title of this post came up in my reading list. Revival has been something I’ve been pondering and praying about recently, and I was just thinking how it’s something I don’t hear others talking about. And then this post proved me wrong!

    But I will add, this last week has been hard and some temptations came up – stuff I haven’t struggled with for ages. It was then that I was reminded of the spiritual war behind the scenes. Of course satan isn’t happy with the idea of revival! I don’t know, it just put things into perspective for me – it isn’t a failure on either of our behalves (if we’re seeking God, etc), it’s an attack because satan is trying to stop us drawer closer to God every way he can. Does that make sense? I’m not sure I’m explaining things well!

    But take heart, friend, our God is all powerful, and He’s fighting for you. Micah 7:7-8 really helped me through a spiritually dry time. I hope it can be an encouragement to you too. And again, I admire your openess and honesty, and I pray this time works together for good in your life. Keep trusting Him and I’m praying for you!

    Like

    1. Me neither. I don’t think life is like that either – especially not where relationship is involved. But I think that what you said about our hearts being a battleground is true – truer than I often realize. Perhaps Satan has a bit more of an advantage during those times that we’re not conscious of the battle. But ultimately, he has no advantage since no one can snatch the sheep from the Father’s hand. Doesn’t that passage fit nicely with what you’ve been learning from Ezekiel? Have you read that passage alongside John 10?

      😉 Doesn’t God work in mysterious ways! And of course, I could never have planned to write this post at this time just for you. No, it certainly wasn’t my gift to you, but God’s.

      Yes, I think I understand what you’re saying. So to continue with the picture of a battle, the dry season isn’t so much the aftermath of the attack (signifying failure on our behalves or God’s), as it is the attack itself (with the result yet to be determined depending on how we respond? Now it’s my turn to ask if that makes sense.

      Oh what a perfectly fitting couple of verses! I rejoice that God used it first to help you through a dry time, and then that you thought to share it with me. Thank you for your prayers, sweet friend. How mind-blowing to think that a sister whom I have never met in person would intercede before God on my behalf! Thank you.

      Like

      1. Yes, Ezekiel fits right in with all of this! And no, I haven’ read it alongside John 10, but remembering what that chapter’s about, I see it would be powerful. I should do that now!

        That’s the way I thought of it. I’m sure sometimes the dry season could be the aftermath (I have experienced it after I’ve done something I knew was wrong, etc), but I think other times it is the attack – those times when we can’t identify why there seems to be a distance between us and God.

        It blows my mind too. 🙂 I’m so thankful for you and the fellowship I have through blogging and the internet. God is amazing. xx

        Like

      2. Yes… I see what you’re saying. The spiritual realm isn’t very straight-forward or formulaic, is it? Sometimes it seems downright confusing! In any case, I pray confusion will bring us closer to God in dependence on Him. -but I’m just speaking for myself, here. Maybe you don’t find this particular topic confusing.

        I’m thankful too – to God for the way He masterfully orchestrates it, and to you for being willing to engage in these long conversations.

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s